A Festivus for the Rest of Us! Here at poetryandscotch, we celebrate Festivus. A small donation will be made to The Human Fund: Money for People in honor of each visit to the site during December. Happy Festivus everyone!
Seeing that it is Festivus, I figure this is a good time for the airing of grievances, so I'll go ahead. I have a lot of problems with you people!
Redhurt: Way to never answer the phone when I call or return calls when I leave a message, also good work on helping me update the new site, it's only been like three months since you promised.
Charles: Good work updating your blog once every two weeks, maybe next year you'll spend less time eating scallion souffles and more time giving me something to do at work. Plus, I'm still pissed that you passed over my sweet post, The Politics of Polarization.
J. Morgan: I'm not sure if not having your own blog is part of a cohesive defense against modernism, but seriously, in the words of redhurt- "Just freaking assimilate already! Your culture is gone!" Also, thumbs down on your decision to skip the trip to GCC for homecoming.
Barnabas: I don't care what you say, I'll write whatever the hell I want to in your comments.
Standingout: When it comes to blog updates, you're worse than Charles. That's pretty much all I have though.
Hans-Georg: I could probably come up with something to complain about if I could ever figure out what you are talking about in your posts...
I also have some general grievances-
Old People- Look, if you screwed around your whole life and your fixed income is too small to live on, then maybe you should go get a freaking job instead of coming in to the shop and complaining that a Cutter and Buck shirt costs $55. It's a freaking country club!
Handjobs (especially dry ones)- Look baby, I know you're trying and that's great- but just give up already. I know you saw a cow get milked on your fourth grade field trip, but you're going to have to believe me when I tell you it really isn't the same motion. If I wanted to be masturbated I wouldn't have invited you over in the first place. I can do it better myself, plus when I'm done I can go right to sleep without talking to you about things I don't care about.
Cold Weather- So this Hummer only gets 10 mpg? Ummm... Do you sell anything less efficient? You do? Is it big enough to fit my new freon fridge in the back? Great! I'll take two.
The Capital Gains Tax- It sucks... a lot.
Also, this is post number 100! (sans the ones I write drunk and delete the next day) I was going to put up some links to posts in my archives that I like, but I don't really care that much and nobody would read them anyway...
Seeing that it is Festivus, I figure this is a good time for the airing of grievances, so I'll go ahead. I have a lot of problems with you people!
Redhurt: Way to never answer the phone when I call or return calls when I leave a message, also good work on helping me update the new site, it's only been like three months since you promised.
Charles: Good work updating your blog once every two weeks, maybe next year you'll spend less time eating scallion souffles and more time giving me something to do at work. Plus, I'm still pissed that you passed over my sweet post, The Politics of Polarization.
J. Morgan: I'm not sure if not having your own blog is part of a cohesive defense against modernism, but seriously, in the words of redhurt- "Just freaking assimilate already! Your culture is gone!" Also, thumbs down on your decision to skip the trip to GCC for homecoming.
Barnabas: I don't care what you say, I'll write whatever the hell I want to in your comments.
Standingout: When it comes to blog updates, you're worse than Charles. That's pretty much all I have though.
Hans-Georg: I could probably come up with something to complain about if I could ever figure out what you are talking about in your posts...
I also have some general grievances-
Old People- Look, if you screwed around your whole life and your fixed income is too small to live on, then maybe you should go get a freaking job instead of coming in to the shop and complaining that a Cutter and Buck shirt costs $55. It's a freaking country club!
Handjobs (especially dry ones)- Look baby, I know you're trying and that's great- but just give up already. I know you saw a cow get milked on your fourth grade field trip, but you're going to have to believe me when I tell you it really isn't the same motion. If I wanted to be masturbated I wouldn't have invited you over in the first place. I can do it better myself, plus when I'm done I can go right to sleep without talking to you about things I don't care about.
Cold Weather- So this Hummer only gets 10 mpg? Ummm... Do you sell anything less efficient? You do? Is it big enough to fit my new freon fridge in the back? Great! I'll take two.
The Capital Gains Tax- It sucks... a lot.
Also, this is post number 100! (sans the ones I write drunk and delete the next day) I was going to put up some links to posts in my archives that I like, but I don't really care that much and nobody would read them anyway...
posted by Justin at 1:07 PM 
1 Comments:
Oops, I forgot you all were too cool for topics like direct hand to genital stimulation. I apologize.
By the way, I'm not even mad. You all are amazing.
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