Thursday

Other than the fact that my job is about as meaningless and unfulfilling as possible, it is totally sweet. I'll give a quick rundown on my day yesterday...

6 am: Good clean wake-up, followed by extremely long, satisfying emptying of my bladder (always a sign of a good day)
7 am: Leave Ocala to drive to Orlando
9 am: I arrive in Orlando, purchase a blueberry scone from Starbucks (first and last time I buy anything at Starbucks), meet my buddy, leave for Ft. Lauderdale.
12:30 (PM? AM? I don't even know): Arrive in Ft. Lauderdale, eat at Quizno's
1 PM: Arrive at Egoscue clinic, meet Shawn

I'll go a little more in depth here- The Egoscue method is physical therapy that aims to restore functionality and motion, in this case, I'm looking to improve overall physical conditioning to play better golf. Simply put, the method is this-

"The Egoscue Method is an approach to therapeutic exercises that is based on fundamental anatomical, physiological and biomechanical principles. By using the blueprint of the human body as a guide, the goal of the Method is to bring about a state of muscular balance and internal homeostasis to the individual. It is not a form of treatment that seeks short term, symptomatic relief. A patient’s symptoms do not dictate an instant formula for treatment, but instead provide a beginning frame of reference based on each individual's unique limitation. Our primary objective applies to everyone we treat and that is to remove the person’s structural dysfunction."

Got that? Good. This is how it works- after an initial evaluation to determine how structurally unsound I am, I go through a series of stretches/exercises designed to pull my skeleton back into alignment. To start, one of my hips is substantially higher than the other, causing a c-shaped curve in my spine, or as Shawn said- "You're all fucked up." After a couple of hours of lying around in different positions, my spine was substantially straighter, my hips were more level, and I had a bigger range of motion than I can remember. Totally sweet. The only problem was that I felt like I had been run over by a truck. My muscles were cramping and tired, and I could barely walk. Weird, considering I didn't really do any reps of anything, or use any weights, I just laid next to a wall with my legs in different positions... Anyway, the three hours I was there cost $500, which is fine, because it's not like I have to pay.

4:30 PM- Leave to drive back to Orlando.
8:30 PM- Dinner at the Orlando Macaroni Grill. I had lobster lasagna. It was delicious.

No little retarded claws here...

10 PM: Arrive at Corona Cigar Bar.

"Central American decor and design to the authentic Nicaraguan furniture and latin music, no detail was spared. Corona’s new store has a one-of-a-kind cigar bar lounge that is Central Florida’s largest. Enhance your smoking pleasure with a specialty beer from the Caribbean, Spain, Mexico, or South America. We also offer an extensive Port and wine selection featuring the best from Spain and South America. Enjoy another favorite cigar drink....Corona Coffee! We not only serve coffee, we grow it. Our special Coffee blend grown in Jinotega, Nicaragua can be enjoyed from Espresso to Mocha Grande. Let's not forget our main attraction - Cigars, cigars, cigars.... with over 1.5 million in stock, this is one heck of a cigar store!"It was totally sweet. I had a Gurkha Grand Reserve. By far the best cigar I've ever smoked!

The most satisfying carcinogen on the market!