Things Not to Do at a Golf Course Since I'm getting out of the business, I figure anything I'll ever want to post about the golf business I should post now, before I lose my authority. So, in case any of you are ever wanting to go to a golf course, here is a quick list of do's and don't's-
Do call for a teetime, and actually have an idea of what time you want to play. Also, when calling for a teetime, Don't provide any information that is unnecessary to the actual business of obtaining a time, you're just wasting both of our time.
Examples of Bad Phone Calls-
Customer: "Hey, what's the earliest tee time you have available on Wednesday?"
Me: "7:24"
Customer: "Great, can we get four on about nine o'clock?"
Customer: "Hey, my name is Joe, I live in New Jersey, we just drove down last night and we're renting a house on the beach. We've got about thirty of us here, my whole mother's side of the family. We're..."
Do tip people working if you're trying to scam something like a discounted rate or some kind of service for free. Don't ask for one. I sure as hell won't give it to you. Double Don't ask for one like this (I got this one today)-
Him: "Hi, my name's Frank Carter, I work for ESPN and NBA TV televising basketball games. Do you have some kind of discount for that? A lot of other places have given us a break..."
Me: "Why? Why would any golf course give you a discount? What is it that you do that in any way benefits us enough to discount your rate? How does *** Golf Club recover this money down the road?"
(I didn't actually say that, but I wanted to. He was big, and angry, and black, and his hand came halfway up my arm when we shook, so what I said was- "Yeah, no problem, I'll give you the unaccompanied guest rate (which is exactly the same as what he would have paid), how does that sound?" He seemed to appreciate it.)
If you play somewhere less than twice a year, Do get in your car and drive away if something happened that you don't appreciate. Don't come complain to anyone who works there, they don't care. Double Don't complain about anything that can't be fixed. Ex-
Some Douche- "I just wanted to let you know that your driving range is way to close to the first hole, there were balls coming into the fairway while we were playing..."
Me: "Actually, I just talked to our maintenance staff, we're going to rebuild the first hole twenty yards farther right to fix this."
Douche: "What? Really?"
Me: *Blank Stare*
Do hang up the phone if you're on hold for more than a few minutes, like two minutes. Don't sit there and wait while the people working take bets on how long you'll hold (today's winner, 22 minutes!), they're not picking that phone back up.
Do call for a teetime, and actually have an idea of what time you want to play. Also, when calling for a teetime, Don't provide any information that is unnecessary to the actual business of obtaining a time, you're just wasting both of our time.
Examples of Bad Phone Calls-
Customer: "Hey, what's the earliest tee time you have available on Wednesday?"
Me: "7:24"
Customer: "Great, can we get four on about nine o'clock?"
Customer: "Hey, my name is Joe, I live in New Jersey, we just drove down last night and we're renting a house on the beach. We've got about thirty of us here, my whole mother's side of the family. We're..."
Do tip people working if you're trying to scam something like a discounted rate or some kind of service for free. Don't ask for one. I sure as hell won't give it to you. Double Don't ask for one like this (I got this one today)-
Him: "Hi, my name's Frank Carter, I work for ESPN and NBA TV televising basketball games. Do you have some kind of discount for that? A lot of other places have given us a break..."
Me: "Why? Why would any golf course give you a discount? What is it that you do that in any way benefits us enough to discount your rate? How does *** Golf Club recover this money down the road?"
(I didn't actually say that, but I wanted to. He was big, and angry, and black, and his hand came halfway up my arm when we shook, so what I said was- "Yeah, no problem, I'll give you the unaccompanied guest rate (which is exactly the same as what he would have paid), how does that sound?" He seemed to appreciate it.)
If you play somewhere less than twice a year, Do get in your car and drive away if something happened that you don't appreciate. Don't come complain to anyone who works there, they don't care. Double Don't complain about anything that can't be fixed. Ex-
Some Douche- "I just wanted to let you know that your driving range is way to close to the first hole, there were balls coming into the fairway while we were playing..."
Me: "Actually, I just talked to our maintenance staff, we're going to rebuild the first hole twenty yards farther right to fix this."
Douche: "What? Really?"
Me: *Blank Stare*
Do hang up the phone if you're on hold for more than a few minutes, like two minutes. Don't sit there and wait while the people working take bets on how long you'll hold (today's winner, 22 minutes!), they're not picking that phone back up.
posted by Justin at 3:57 PM 
2 Comments:
Hey man, I tried to call you at work today and somebody put me on hold for like 20 minutes. I finally just gave up... Oh well.
22 minutes??!! That's ridiculous!! I mean, I suppose they could've been doing something else while waiting that long...but even still, that's just silly.
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