It's like Mardi Gras meets the bombing of Dresden...
Friday, November 18, 2005
I have Confidence in Sunshine!
A couple of random work stories-

1) There is a Jamaican janitor here at work whose name is- I'm not kidding- Rohan, spelled R-O-H-A-N. Seriously. He's a cool guy, but everytime I see him I can't help saying things like "Fool! I can be killed by no man", "Ride for ruin and the world's ending", and my personal favorite, yelling "Riders of the Mark!" I think he thought I was just weird at first, but now I think he hates me. Oh well, I'll be gone before I run out of Theoden quotes...

2) I've been extremely bored, and started playing Motherload again. It is quite possible, the longest flash game I've ever seen. It's taken me half the week, playing a good three hours a day (you can save) and I finally got to the end where you end up battling Satan. At this point, the game no longer lets you pause- so of course I get three phone calls and a line of people in the shop right when I get there. Since I couldn't play and couldn't stop it, I died, and I hadn't saved in a while and I'm not going to do it again. I'm so pissed.

3) I won't go into detail here, but every single stereotype regarding the sexual prowess of Latinas (why Latin America? I don't remember the Romans landing there...) is 100% completely, verifiably true. Even the ones who aren't really hot enough to ever date, but are way hot enough to hook up with when you've been drinking a few beers after [most] everyone else leaves work on the bar and a couple tables, which is what I've been doing. If you are worried about this affecting my job security, the first person I told was my boss (whom I live with) and he gave me a high five and said, "I knew that girl was a freak." Boo-yah!

4) It's Friday, and most likely no one will read this until Monday, so I'm not going to waste my time a substantial post that will be largely ignored.

5) A quick poll, which would you rather go watch?











or...















It appears the Redness has already voted...

7 Comments:

Blogger Justin said...

For the record, I'll stick with totally sweet Brad Pitt movies.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Greg said...

I had a roommate from India who lives in Kuwait (and goes to college at Baylor? What?) named Rohin. But a lot of people called him Rohan, because they're dumb.

I probably wouldn't stay to watch either movie. Brad Pitt ruining the most famous epic of all time just doesn't seem that appealing.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Justin said...

It's a hell of a lot better than Colin Farrell tongue kissing eunuchs the whole way through Alexander...

3:15 PM  
Blogger JMC said...

Can we get some details about the Latina hook-up? If not, then I think I am going to question your movie vote...

3:39 PM  
Blogger RJ said...

phantom of the opera features a derranged psycho genius running around in a mask killing anyone who insults him or sings bad. I don't understand how that's even close to the cultural equivalent of "The Hills Are Alive!"

I'm serious - he KILLS people! Dead! Watch it, or listen to it, or something, before you assume it's gay!!

You're gay!!

Your latino chick, because it's always latino, and that's why we say "chick" afterwards, when referring to the race, is actually a dude, Quagmyer!!

9:30 PM  
Blogger Justin said...

Let's deconstruct Phantom of the Opera to find the hidden agenda. I'll use the tools picked up in a History of Modern Opera class I took, also known as HOMO 101.

I'll argue that "Phantom of the Opera" is an edifice of turn of the century struggle with homosexuality. Basically, it describes the power struggle between society and a young man coming to terms with his gayness.


We'll start with symbolism-
1) Disfigurement- Leroux uses a birth defect as early social commentary on the "born gay" viewpoint that has later gained an increasing share of popular acceptance. The birth defect shows that the character has no choice in the matter and fearing rejection from society, attempts to cover it with a "mask" which obviously translates to a facade of heterosexuality.
2) The Phantom's flame-throwing fire ball staff- a crude, phallic reference
3) Much of the story concerns his infatuation with a girl, who he eventually releases to her true love. Basically, his infatuation is a weak attempt at being normal (hetero) and trying to ascribe to societal pressures regarding sexuality. By releasing her, the Phantom finally comes to terms with his own sexuality and accepts himself.

I'm sure I could keep this up indefinately but I've never actually seen it and I haven't been able to google a good summary. I had a good paragraph on how the violence in Phantom of the Opera symbolizes the destruction to the gay community by diseases like AIDS, until I realized that Leroux wrote this a good sixty years before AIDS appeared.

Anyway, Phantom of the Opera may be totally sweet... it's just that I've never seen it so I lump all theatre productions and musicals in a big, same sex, nudity pile with The Sound of Music, Rogers and Hammerstein, and the gay guy who Elaine tries to convert in Seinfeld after going to the opera. However, opera did play a pivotal role in the creation of Batman, so I'll give it that.

Anyway, postmodernism is stupid.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Justin said...

and hook-up details-

Apparently she had been digging my metrosexual attire over the summer and fantasized about certain things, and let me know while I was sitting in the bar drinking some beers. Needless to say, I hung around till everyone but us left and then got to work. Nothing like real sex or anything, she has a boyfriend and apparently cheaters have limits? Luckily, this isn't the first girl in a relationship I've hooked up with, so I've got some game... kinda.

Anyway, the beers took an effect and my one handed bra removing skills were proven deficient along with my motor skills, as I knocked over a beer, forgot about it, and then laid her down in it about two minutes later. Good times...

10:38 AM  

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