Bono: Sanctimonious Ass-Clown Recently, Mair reacted to a general dislike of the Bono with this,
1) The band was founded in 1976, the same year as Apple Computer. Not suprisingly, Bono's mother died of a brain hemorrhage (most likely self-inflicted) around the same time. How long ago is that? Here's what things looked like in 1976:
Why is there all this hating on Bono? Give him your money - he'll give it to starving children in the third world who also happen to be dying of AIDS. So what if you don't like his music - he wasn't nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for nothing!!!!!Why? Here's why-
1) The band was founded in 1976, the same year as Apple Computer. Not suprisingly, Bono's mother died of a brain hemorrhage (most likely self-inflicted) around the same time. How long ago is that? Here's what things looked like in 1976:
Look at my classy moustache, hard collar, and amazing black and white photography. The computer in the background is calculating body weight vs. pubic hair weight ratios, which averaged around .3 for the 1970's.
2) Quick question- what appeared in the 1970's, spreads quickly but ravages slowly, and is at the forefront of every discussion involving world aid? That's right, AIDS and U2. Not suprisingly, the careers of both these plagues run roughly parallel to each other, with AIDS causing pain and heartache for poor, underdeveloped nations, and U2 laying waste to white suburbia. Obvious conclusion? U2 caused the AIDS epidemic. Evidence? Bono is so potent with the virus that he has to wear special glasses lest he infect someone with a glance, and up until recently, the band member known as "The Edge" was known under a different name, "The HIV".
3) What was going to be my favorite episode of Entourage was ruined today by none other than, you guessed it, Bono and his plague spreading band. Why was this almost my favorite episode? Two words: Comic book convention, porn stars, Mandy Moore, and the actor better-ly known as Dwight Schrute. Not suprisingly, the Entourage star most enamored with U2 was the annoying Johnny Drama, played by Kevin Dillon.
Here's a quick list of bands I don't hate that have formed, rocked, and broken up or faded into obscurity, all in less time than it took U2 to become both ubiquitous, hollow, and self-serving: Nirvana, Rage Against the Machine, Pearl Jam, Dispatch, Wu-Tang, The Fugees, etc... What's that you say? All of these bands are from the last decade-ish? Exactly, it was some TWO DECADES after the inception of U2 that I was finally old enough to even being having an opinion on music, and luckily my parents were both discerning enough to avoid leaving (or having) U2 cassettes around.
2) Quick question- what appeared in the 1970's, spreads quickly but ravages slowly, and is at the forefront of every discussion involving world aid? That's right, AIDS and U2. Not suprisingly, the careers of both these plagues run roughly parallel to each other, with AIDS causing pain and heartache for poor, underdeveloped nations, and U2 laying waste to white suburbia. Obvious conclusion? U2 caused the AIDS epidemic. Evidence? Bono is so potent with the virus that he has to wear special glasses lest he infect someone with a glance, and up until recently, the band member known as "The Edge" was known under a different name, "The HIV".
3) What was going to be my favorite episode of Entourage was ruined today by none other than, you guessed it, Bono and his plague spreading band. Why was this almost my favorite episode? Two words: Comic book convention, porn stars, Mandy Moore, and the actor better-ly known as Dwight Schrute. Not suprisingly, the Entourage star most enamored with U2 was the annoying Johnny Drama, played by Kevin Dillon.
posted by Justin at 5:00 PM 
1 Comments:
An on top of that, a 12 year old could write better lyrics and more interesting guitar riffs.
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