Life 2.0

At my company, one of the policies (along with paying 100% of health care costs) is to conduct performance evaluations every three months and use them to decide bonus amounts. I don't have a whole lot of intro material on this, so I'll state that I had my evaluation the other day. Without getting too deeply into details, I'll say that the majority of it concerned my ability to adapt to the demands of my current position, and that my future at Company X is carefully situated on the horns of a dilemma:

Option 1: Working 50 hours a week, and finding myself back in the ranks of the unemployed come April.
Option 2: Pulling a stool up to the company bar, and ordering triple shots of workohol.

So, over the weekend, I sat down and picked at my spaghetti and paradox sauce with Morton's Fork. While Option 1 would seem to satisfy my inner Ignatius J. Reilly, Option 2 would satisfy my father, and pay off my Honda Civic debt. For most other positions, the answer would obviously be Option 1, but there are a few things variables that need to be considered.

• I like my job.
• I don't know what else I want to do.
• In the medium to long run, I stand to be well compensated.
• Working a three month stint would damage my resume.
• There is a lot of money tied up in this decision.
• I finally learned all my coworker's names.

I considered these variable for all of about five seconds before coming to my conclusion. Why complain about giving up my life (i.e. time outside of work, not my life-life), when I don't have a life to begin with? Working 70 hour weeks will not impact my life in any of the following ways:

1. I won't spend less time with the girlfriend I don't have.
2. I won't spend less time with the friends I don't hang out with.
3. It won't keep me from not exercising.
4. I won't spend any less time playing the Xbox 360 I don't have any games for.
5. It won't interfere with the time I don't spend blogging.

So... there you have it. I'm actually kind of excited. Modern literature was depressing me anyway, and I don't hang out with Hans-Georg enough to be an optimist. Out of my way peasants, here is my new schedule (Monday- Friday):

5:15 AM - 6:15 AM: Wake up, shower, dress, eat breakfast.
6:15 AM - 7:15 AM: Commute.
7:15 AM - 6:15 PM: Work (with a nice break to take a dump and read the WSJ).
6:15 PM - 7:15 PM: Commute.
7:15 PM - 8:00 PM: Dinner, either before or after a dump.
8:00 PM - 9:30 PM: Work.
9:30 PM - 10:00 PM: Dump. Brush teeth.
10:00 PM - 5:15 AM: Sleep (Hopefully I'll dream I'm at work).

The only time this schedule will change is on Thursday, because I'll watch "The Office." Also, if it snows, rains, sleets, or hails, or if some gets into an accident in my lane on the highway stopping traffic, or gets into an accident on the other side of the highway (causing people to look), you can add 30 minutes on each end of that commute, and a few more dollars in the coffers of terrorism.