On Douches I'm sure by now everyone has heard of the Mohammed cartoons (they can be viewed here) that have sparked "global controversy." I'm not going to attempt to add anything of value, decontruct the arguments of either side, or foster dialogue. All I'm going to do is tell a quick story and let you see if you can figure out how it applies.
A couple of years ago, one of my friends had just purchased the yellow and black nextel phone that is supposed to be pretty much invincible. Unfortunately for him, he walked outside with it into the middle of a water balloon fight. Realizing he was about to get worked, he preempted the toss by holding up his phone and saying that he didn't want to get it wet. Ordinarily, this would have worked. However, he had earlier made claims that his phone was so tough that he could basically fall into a lake and his phone would still work. Seeing that he was being a baby, but not wanting to directly hit his phone with a water balloon, I threw one at a proximate wall, hitting him with some spash damage. He then got really mad, swore profusely, and didn't talk to me for three days.
I'm sure something like has happened to you, most likely following this form-
1) Person A has a certain douche quality or does something douchey.
2) Person B, seeking to make a relatively innocent joke about the douchiness, says or does something calling attention to the douchey property.
3) Person A overreacts, causing everyone to forget the small, funny douche characteristic, and realize how big of a douche the Person A actually is.
In conclusion, Muslims are douches.
A couple of years ago, one of my friends had just purchased the yellow and black nextel phone that is supposed to be pretty much invincible. Unfortunately for him, he walked outside with it into the middle of a water balloon fight. Realizing he was about to get worked, he preempted the toss by holding up his phone and saying that he didn't want to get it wet. Ordinarily, this would have worked. However, he had earlier made claims that his phone was so tough that he could basically fall into a lake and his phone would still work. Seeing that he was being a baby, but not wanting to directly hit his phone with a water balloon, I threw one at a proximate wall, hitting him with some spash damage. He then got really mad, swore profusely, and didn't talk to me for three days.
I'm sure something like has happened to you, most likely following this form-
1) Person A has a certain douche quality or does something douchey.
2) Person B, seeking to make a relatively innocent joke about the douchiness, says or does something calling attention to the douchey property.
3) Person A overreacts, causing everyone to forget the small, funny douche characteristic, and realize how big of a douche the Person A actually is.
In conclusion, Muslims are douches.
posted by Justin at 1:01 PM 
2 Comments:
Awesome, but aren't you worried about a fatwa on your head? Seriously, is it going to come to that? How do we stop these people?
That's why I never use my real name on my blog. I heart anonymity.
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