Documentary

While up here in Grove City, I was hanging out watching TV with Georgie at 2:30 in the morning up in Alumni. I'm not sure what channel we were watching, but the show was the modern version of The Twighlight Zone. The first episode featured such entertainment luminaries as Method Man and Jonathan Davis from Korn, not to be confused with the Jonathan Davis who went to your high school (odds are there was one...). Besides having a budget roughly equal to the GNP of equatorial, pre-invention of the stick, New Guinea, the script was most likely plagarized from a C project that high school Jonathan Davis wrote when taking theatre as a required class at community college. I was having a wonderful time making fun of it until I was interrupted by a commerical break with noticeably higher production values. One of the commercials was a promo for a later episode of The Twighlight Zone that featured, among others, Shannon freaking Elizabeth.

I'm still incredibly hot even when exposed to flourescent bathroom lighting.

Yeah, the same Shannon Elizabeth with the ridiculously hot, manufactured foreign accent and magnificent breasts from American Pie. Apparently, Shannon was so wildly successful in American Pie that she was able to negotiate a no-nudity clause for her next (and utimately last) not premiering on television or DVD movie, Tomcats- thereby effectively removing her one piece of bargaining power from the table.

While I don't follow her career, I have noticed her from time to time and will attempt to chart her decline here, without the assistance of IMDB.

1) American Pie
2) Tomcats (Jerry O'Connell was also in this movie, destroying any possibility of success)
3) The Enron Movie on CBS
4) The Twilight Zone at 2:30 in the morning opposite the perennial favorite- whatever kitchen gadget Ronco is marketing

Apparently, she is very near to reaching rock bottom and I have decided (altruistically of course) to help her salvage her career by featuring her in the much anticipated documentary I am intent on making. Knowing she is desperate for any part, I plan to abuse my position as head of casting to make her sleep with me to cement her role as the star of the documentary, which, incidentally, will be titled- I Have Sex with Shannon Elizabeth.